How to reframe what it means to raise a brave girl
I love listening to podcasts, it’s a quick and easy way to learn new tools for my leadership coaching practice and my personal life as a mom, wife and business woman. I’ve collected my favorite podcast episodes and pulled them together for you right here.
Today I’m sharing a podcast from the list about the pressures of how girls are raised differently than boys, and how we can reframe this mindset starting with us, as the parents and teachers.
This episode inspired me to take action with my daughter and myself in terms of staying true to experimentation and exploration in the face of perfection.
From Harvard Reviews Business Cast Ideacast and Reshma Saujani, who is the founder of Girls Who Code, we dive into topics like perfectionism, leadership and her new book Brave, Not Perfect.
As a mother it’s my privilege to raise emotionally strong and brave children who have a lot of questions and emotions that are bigger than their little bodies. How do I treat them with equity in a world that is set up to promote the bravery of a boy and the perfectionism of a girl?
In Reshma Saujani popular TED Talk she shares, “Most girls are taught to avoid risk and failure. We’re taught to smile pretty, play it safe, get all A’s. Boys, on the other hand, are taught to play rough, swing high, crawl to the top of the monkey bars and then just jump off headfirst. And by the time they’re adults, whether they’re negotiating a raise or even asking someone out on a date, they’re habituated to take risk after risk. They are rewarded for it.“
And, I was in tears reading this New York Times article. “Girls consistently outperform boys academically. And yet, men nonetheless hold a staggering 95 percent of the top positions in the largest public companies.”
As a leadership coach I see this in myself and my clients. We aim for the best of the best, striving for perfection in our jobs, bodies, and lives. It’s an exhausting task because perfectionism is not attainable. Funny thing about perfectionism? It’s a bar that is constantly moving.
Men, you may not call this way of being perfectionism, consider instead that you are “obsessed about the details,” “determined to get it right,” or “won’t accept failure,” these are also flavors of perfectionism, no matter what the name.
I have a challenge for you: notice when perfectionism is holding you–and if you are a parent–holding your children back.
Who do you need to be to reframe your mindset?
What mindset do you need to practice bravery and space for failure?
When will you bring your emotions and bravery into the workplace?
Speak your truth, do the brave thing. Do it even if you look like a fool. I’ll be standing right there by you. Let me know what you think of this podcast, you can download it, and my other favorite podcast episodes right here.