Beat your self-sabotaging perfection and play to win
Here’s how I broke up my self-defeating pattern of perfectionism and realized I could have it all. You can have it all, your team can have it all, you just need to define what IT IS for you and keep your eyes on the prize and play at that level every day.
I’m a big football fan and have been since I was a little girl sitting on the couch watching with my dad in Missouri. I actually miss football when it’s not football season, and I know that’s ridiculous!
There is a moment at the beginning of every season when each football player believes they are going to win the Super Bowl. You can see it, it’s how they hold themselves at press conferences, how they structure their meal plans and practice relentlessly. The true winners are in constant physical, mental and emotional training every second of the day.
At the end of the season, only two teams go to the Super Bowl and only one wins.
Now let’s imagine you’re a player, and have the mindset that, “You know what, it’s not going to happen for me this year, I’m gonna try my best, I don’t want to get my hopes up because if I don’t win it’s going to be so embarrassing. What if I mess up or let my team down? I just don’t think it’s in the cards this year, but I’m going to play all 15 games. Let’s go team!”
Watch this video from my Brand Commitment Course where I share a lot of the same resources I’m sharing with you here. Interested in finding your personal brand commitment? Let’s work together, or you can check out the course right here.
I was that flip-flopping football player. I used my self-sabotaging pattern of perfectionism to play small in my product launch.
Weeks before the launch all my perfectionist tendencies came up as I continuously moved my launch date, I changed the price of my product, didn’t like the images for the product, changed the number of people I wanted to buy the product. Do you hear how I was moving the goal line all over the place? I was setting myself up to fail, and actually PLANNING to fail. With no end goal, or a moving goal line I had no target.
Many teams and organizations fail because they are not in alignment with the intention of the end goal and what’s needed to get there. Working harder or longer hours doesn’t cut it, that’s just a cover-up of the root cause which can be a number of internal issues, like perfectionism, unrealistic expectations, timelines, or simply a gap in leadership.
My flavor of perfectionism shows up as unrealistic expectations. For years I had a successful career as a graphic designer, I believed I was paid to create the perfect brand. I had unrealistic expectations which set me down a path of burnout, overwhelm and exhaustion.
Research shows there are numerous personal and professional development issues around perfectionism versus striving for excellence, here are a few indicators that can help you, or your team, shift your mindset from perfection to striving for excellence. Barbara Markway, Ph.D., who is a psychologist with over 23 years of experience and is the author of four books shares:
“Perfectionists strive for impossible goals. Pursuers of excellence enjoy meeting high standards that are within reach.”
‘Perfectionists, when they run into difficulty, get easily overwhelmed and give up. On the other hand, pursuers of excellence experience temporary disappointment, but they keep going.”
From insight to action: Shift your focus from perfection to the progress you are making, the action you have taken to get you to where you are and give yourself a personal high five. Seriously. Jump up and slap your hands together and say, “Way to BE!” then keep going. Bonus, the blood flow and oxygen from positive body movement will shift your internal structure from beaten down to uplifted.
Don’t know if you are a perfectionist? Take this 20-minute online assessment to find out if you are a perfectionist and email me, I’d love to hear your results.
After working with my coach to a recommit to my intention and end goal I played at that high level of personal commitment throughout the rest of the launch.
And then launch week came and here’s what happened: I got the flu, but I also saw Hamilton, took my kids on a mini-vacation, signed two new clients, celebrated my birthday, and launched the product at a 17% conversion rate on the first day.
I didn’t win my Super Bowl but I played at a higher level of intention and commitment and leveled up everything around me to meet that level of personal success. I went to the gym, I planned my meals, groceries, daycare and asked my husband for support. I hired a developer and writer to delegate work to and got 8 hours of sleep each night, I practiced to win.
After the launch, my coach reflected that, at that moment, I had practiced and created my life to have IT all, and I broke down in tears.
I work with my clients to breakthrough their self-defeating patterns to reach goals they once thought impossible.
There is no room for growth when you are comparing yourself to an unrealistic expectation of perfection, in fact, perfectionism keeps you, and your team in your comfort zone playing small. Creating a strategy to win your Super Bowl can start by identifying what you are missing.
Here’s a quick way to identify what may be missing in your intention and strategy to win your Super Bowl. If you are:
- Feeling confused you are probably missing your intention
- Feeling anxiety your missing resources
- Feeling overwhelmed your missing action plan
- Feeling bored your commitment isn’t big enough
- Feeling exhausted you’re missing a self-care plan
You can look at this in the opposite way if you create your strategy from your personal commitment to have it all with:
- Intention you have clarity
- Resources you have confidence
- An action plan you have direction
- A tone of voice you have authenticity
- A personal brand commitment you have an impact
If this is your year to win the Super Bowl and level-up your leadership in your life, career and whatever you are committed too, I’d love to help you create that.